Funny Sex Stories Pt. 1 – The Bookstore Kid’s Section

5th November, 2009 - Posted by Mohawk Mike - No Comments

Funny Sex Stories

This is one of the funny sex stories from my life.

Two years ago I thought it was the coolest thing to have sex in public places. Since then I’ve grown to realize that having sex in public places can be tough, annoying, and just not that enjoyable. At the time though, my modo was: “pain is temporary, glory is forever. Let’s do this!”. This story is about one of the oddest places I’ve hooked up with a girl.

During the summer I was busy working three jobs and didn’t have time to go out much, so I decided to give online dating a try. One day I got a message from a girl named Tania. After checking out her profile two things were evident: 1) She had a cute face and big boobs 2) She was fat. I was on a bit of a dry spell and decided to meet her out. After all, she had a cute face…

I met her on a Tuesday at 2pm. We went to a local shopping center because I needed to buy some stuff for my house (I was moving out at the time). She looked basically the same in person as she did in the pictures: big tits, and fat. I couldn’t decide right away if I wanted to hook up with her or not. So, I decided the best thing for me to do was to consult Mr. Alcohol (most funny sex stories from my life involve alcohol).

We went into the liquor store and I got us some vodka. We poured it into water bottles (classy) and began walking around the mall checking things out. The whole time I was cracking dirty jokes and she was loving it. As I got more drunk, I became louder and the jokes were getting worse and worse. So, we decided it would be a good idea to go to a bookstore.

I was very drunk…on a Tuesday…at 4pm…in a bookstore. Suddenly, Tania didn’t seem so fat. What’s this? Her boobs look even nicer! I grab her hand and tell her that we’re going on an “adventure”. The washroom is in the kid’s section so I begin pulling her through there.

We get to the men’s washroom and I tell her to wait outside. After checking to see that the washroom was empty, I pull her in. We went into the stall for disabled people (since it was the biggest one) and started hooking up. To tell you the truth, the sex was awful. The combination of vodka and her being fat didn’t serve me at all. However, as soon as she started sucking me off I almost fell over. This fat girl was giving me the best head I have EVER gotten in my life! I consulted my guy friends and most of them agreed that fat girls do indeed give good head.

After we finish up I lead her out of the washroom and we quickly make our exit through the kid’s section. As we’re leaving the bookstore I see two employees rushing into the washroom. We got out of there just in time. After this I told her some lies about how I’m going to call her and left. I am a bad person sometimes.

Hope you enjoyed the first out of many funny sex stories. Check back for updates!